The Truth About Marriage Two Years Later

Ok, ok, I’m going off script just a bit today. Why?

Because Bailey and I have been married for two full years as of today!

First of all, it’s been so much fun being married to Bailey. She’s funny and quirky but also so caring and considerate. We’ve done all the cliched things together.

We’ve laughed together, cried together, fought together and learned together. So that’s cool.

I love her so much. Happy anniversary, Bailey Bug!

Throwback to our wedding day

In honor of today, I looked back at the post that I wrote on our wedding day. In my post “A Letter To My Bride On Our Wedding Day,” I love getting to see what was going on in my head just hours before we got hitched. Here are a couple of my favorite paragraphs:

Bailey, I love your heart. How you love the Lord and seek to follow him with your life. How you interact with people and truly show God’s love in how you treat them. I love your giggle but I love it best when I make it come out. You’re so thoughtful, mature and humble in your normal life. You are a true treasure! 

This is still true. She is still a true treasure.

Bailey, I know I’m not perfect and I’m confident you’ll realize this more and more as we go into marriage! I pray that as your husband, I can learn to serve you and give myself to you as Christ has done for the church. When I hurt you, tell me. When I fail, forgive me. When I’m discouraged, uplift me. When I lose track of the goal, point me back to Christ. That’s what I ask. 

This is also still true. I want Bailey and I to continually go back to Christ for the perfect example of a perfect marriage.

That day was so special. Bailey and I finally got to get married with all the people we love around us. We were surrounded by prayer (as you can see in the photo above) and I know that people still pray for us. It was awesome and a day to be remembered (though it was blazing hot outside).

Marriage is a promotor of growth

And here’s the connection to this blog — there’s been a lot of personal and relational growth in the past two years. I say this rather facetiously, but if you want to grow a lot, get married. Man, I’ll tell you what.

Marriage reminds you that you’ve got someone else to look after, not just yourself. It teaches you selflessness beyond what you may have expected (and I have not perfected this).

It causes you to realize that you’re not the only one losing out on hopes and dreams if you don’t work towards them now. It makes you more responsible because, once again, you aren’t the only one you have to look out for now.

Marriage is an incredibly humbling journey.

I joke about getting married for boosting growth. Of course that would be a horrible primary reason. But marriage will promote growth because when you get married, you can’t stay the same.

Trust me.

In what ways has marriage caused you to change and grow?

I want to hear from you in the comments! And as always, if you found any value in this post, give it a like and give me a follow!

-Caleb

click here for our wedding Music Video

I love our music video of our wedding day. A buddy of mine shot it and I edited it. I thought I’d share it here.

What if it Isn’t Economically Viable to Love Thy Neighbor (or Help Refugees)?

“Love your neighbor as yourself” is what the Bible says. And it’s what keeps ringing in my head as I argue with myself. Many of you know that there is a caravan of thousands upon thousands of people traveling up through Mexico from countries to the South, claiming they seek protection from the poverty, gang violence and general danger in their countries.

What are we supposed to do?

I have two conflicting arguments in my head. The first is this: I, as a Christian, am to love people with Christ’s love. I am to clothe those who need clothed, feed those who need fed, visit those who need visited. Therefore, it certainly seems reasonable to accept those who need help. Here’s the second argument.

What if it isn’t economically viable to settle refugees in our country? 

This year, the Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR) came out with a study detailing the cost of settling refugees in America. They said that in the first 5 years of a refugee’s time in America, it costs the taxpayers just under $80,000. This is per refugee and adds up to about $1.8 billion annually. This is an astronomical cost to the average American. And if we just look at the 7000+ people working their way up Mexico, if we let all of them into the States, that alone would cost over $560 million just in the first 5 years.

So what’s the solution? Do we take them in and bite the cost or leave them out because we can’t handle the financial load? 

As much as I don’t want to say it, this isn’t economically sustainable. Shoot, Americans aren’t even financially sustaining themselves. Herein lies my problem and I want to know what you think.

I personally think that we are called to love people as Christ loved us. He sacrificed on the cross for us and we are to sacrifice for others. But what if we have nothing to sacrifice? How can we love others (especially those in need from other countries) even when we can’t provide for them?

In 1 Timothy 5, when the apostle Paul talks about an individual who doesn’t provide for his own as “worse than an unbeliever,” does that only apply to the family unit or does it apply to providing for our country as well?

I do not know the answer. 

I think that we can certainly change laws and policies to give us more capability as a country to help those in need. If we merely lived by the “if one doesn’t work, he shall not eat” policy (1 Thessalonians 3:10), that alone would decrease the number of people who live on food stamps and government welfare. Certainly there are people who truly need the help to get back on their feet but many don’t.

If we can control spending on a national and individual level, that would work wonders for the system. If we as households paid off all debt, that would economically boost our nation’s prosperity and allow more financial room for helping and aiding refugees.

And there’s certainly a lot to say about entering a country legally, obtaining all the necessary work permits and abiding as a functioning member of society, even without citizenship.

I must admit, I fall drastically short of the command to love my neighbor, even the one that physically lives next door. We’re not even talking about people from neighboring countries.

But that command comes straight from Jesus. I don’t want to add to or take away from what He said on the subject but I’m curious what you think. I really want some opinions!

What do you think about allowing refugees into America? What do you think is a sustainable method of helping them? 

Do you think we can love the refugees even if we don’t allow them into our country? 

Please, comment below what your opinion is. I will be fascinated to learn more perspectives.

-Caleb